As a coach and mentor, I wear many hats.

I love to share the wisdom I’ve gained over the course of 23+ years of working with high-level clients who are eager to reach the next level in their business and lives. Sometimes, my clients don’t know what they don’t know, and it’s very fulfilling to share with them my knowledge and what I see. When I can help them see a situation in a new light, with a new understanding, it’s a beautiful experience.

However, there is an Achilles heel to sharing my expertise (as for any coach or mentor who has expertise they can share), and that is that my clients consciously or unconsciously tune out their own expertise and inner guidance. I have to make sure my clients are tuning into their own resonance, and not blindly taking on my suggestions.

I have lots of ideas, but my job is to be unattached to them. There is no “one right way” to do anything. I like to say that the only “right way” is what feels light and right to you.

Be Unattached to the Outcome

My job as coach and mentor is to zone into my clients’ resonance and be attuned  to what resonates with them, and what doesn’t. Sometimes, none of my ideas or perspectives feel right to them, and we have to find a new way that feels in alignment for my client. Sometimes starting with some ideas that aren’t right can help pave a path to finding that new way.

Because of this, none of my clients go through my coaching process the same way. Coaching shouldn’t be one-size-fits-all. Sometimes in my role, I’m the coach, other times, I’m the mentor, but most of the time I’m gliding between the two.

The first “business coach” I hired was very prescriptive. She would say things like, “If you don’t do it exactly as I tell you to, step by step, I can’t guarantee your results.” It should have been a red flag to me, because no one can guarantee my results because I am one big wild card in that equation! Nevertheless, I gave away my authority and didn’t listen to myself because this person convinced me that she knew better than I did.

I spent months prepping for a big program launch and had a ten-week launch plan that felt a mile long, and I followed it to the letter. I did webinars, sales emails, sales pages, recruited promotional partners, the whole shebang. In the end, only one person signed up and I was crushed. I had a really successful business of 1:1 clients up until this point but she convinced me that I needed to launch a big group program if I were going to “up-level”.  I poured at least 400 hours into this baby and it failed epically.

I ultimately cancelled the program, feeling deeply disappointed. I had put so much time and energy into it, and for a good long while, I blamed the coach because she “steered me wrong”. In hindsight, I can see that the person I was actually angry with was myself, because throughout the whole process, I was unsettled, conflicted, exhausted, confused and unsure more often than I was excited or energized. I simply listened to her and stopped listening to myself. I didn’t honor the quieter part of myself that knew that her strategy wasn’t going to work for me.

That was a pivotal moment for me and I knew I wanted to be the kind of business mentor and coach that helped my clients zone in what feels light and right to them and to let go of any attachment to the process and tools I’ve built. They are super helpful to my clients but they aren’t the end all, be all. The energy is far more important than the tools and resources on this journey.

Unearth Your “Pull” Energy

How often have you disappointed yourself so that you wouldn’t disappoint others? How often have you set aside your own needs or knowing to some outside authority?

My job is to help my clients have a business they love. If you don’t love what you’re doing, if you don’t love the way you’re marketing, if you don’t love the program you’re offering, you’re not going to consistently give a great client experience, and you’re not going to want to keep doing it.

It will feel like a slog.

I remember reading an article on Steve Jobs (who was known for being an extremely demanding leader) and he said that if he spent more than three days not enjoying his work, he stopped what he was doing because he knew it was a big indication that it wasn’t right.

I see coaching as helping you unearth your “pull” energy. This is the energy that pulls your clients to you and makes them want to jump into action. It is the antithesis of “push” energy, which is the energy we put out anytime we try to force something to happen.

There is a lot of push energy in the world right now, and it’s starting to break down. “Just do it,” “rise and grind,” and “hustle culture” are all about push energy. It has created a tremendous amount of burnout because we’ve been overriding ourselves for so long; it’s not sustainable.

To clarify: sometimes we want to sprint, to accomplish a lot in a short period of time. We were designed for the short sprint. It can be energizing and fun when we are inspired… but when we do that over and over again because we’re trying to accomplish what “needs” to be done versus what we’re called to do, it creates dis-ease. Many of my clients begin working with me at this point when they are questioning whether they should just give up and get a job. (Sound familiar?)

Clear the Noise so the Truth Illuminates Itself

I recently read a quote from Abraham Hicks that says, “Your abundance is in response to your vibration.”

If any part of you believes you have to do something in order to succeed in business, and your vibration around it is low, it’s not going to work for you (no matter what the “experts” say!)

My goal is to make sure my clients vibrate at a level where abundance will flow. That requires you to believe that what you’re doing is right. It requires you to connect with your inner knowing, and to honor yourself.

It doesn’t mean you won’t try things, but if you try things and they don’t feel right, then let it go.  (Easier said than done, right?) I’m a big fan of leverage, but I tell my clients that even if you’ve invested significant time and energy into something, it’s only leverage if it’s uplifting and makes your life and business better and easier. Why continue to do something that isn’t working because you’ve invested time into it?

Reflection:

• Where in your business are you “pushing” because you think you have to?
• What are you holding onto that you’d like to release?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!  Please reach out and share what this article unfurled in you!

If this strikes a chord with you and you feel as though your business isn’t joyful and abundant I’d love to do a business breakthrough session with you to see if I can help you discover a different way to get from here to the business you really want. Click here to learn more.